Life.

Life is fantastic currently.

I have a great relationship with a very special girl, my work is good for a change and not so stressful anymore. I have my own home even though i don't see it so much but i can live with that.

Everything is just going so well. i have been spending alot of time with my new girlfriend and we're almost at the one month mark of dating. We are learning so much from each other everyday and its a great joy to be able to speak to each other about things and keep the conversation going for hours.

Her parents love me and my mom loves her. We are going to do great things in our life together as we have the same aspirations.

I love you Angel.

Amazing !!!

What a fantastic weekend, probably one of the best I've ever had.

I took friday off so that i could spend some extra "us" time with my girlfriend and we went out to a shopping mall to go do her work she still needed to do a then went for breakfast, afterwards we went back to her house and just relaxed.

Saturday morning i was up quite early as me and a friend wanted to go to the fleamarket to go buy various things and take a look around and we walked out with nothing. Saturday afternoon we were invited to a cocktail party which was kinda disappointing as the rugby final was on with the Sharks and the Bulls.

The party was kinda boring and as the bus arrived for the matric farewellees its starting raining hard and i knew it wasn't going to stop anytime soon, afterwards myself and my friends family went to a pub to have a drink and finish watching the game. After a lot of screaming the Sharks won the game 12-7 and it already put me in a good mood but i also knew i needed to face my girlfriend as she is a avid BB supporter.

I took my friends family home and then went through to my girlfriends place as she was at a wedding and she'd left early. We just relaxed at her house and i went home to a empty house as my friends were all out.

Sunday morning i was woken up around 12 because i only fell asleep for some odd reason at 7 in the morning. i went through to my girlfriends house to pick her up as i was going to drive my mom around to do all her normal shopping.

My girlfriend was kinda nervous to meet my mom but i knew that it was meant to be that my mom would like her and i was smack bang on target. My mom even said she likes her and what shocked me the most was that my mom hugged and kissed her goodbye. She has never done that in my 25 years of being alive and dating and i was seriously impressed.

I have met the woman of my dreams and i know it and i will always keep it that way.

Mwah I love you Angel.

Happiness defined

I'm so happy that i can't explain it.

I finally have that relationship that i want and need. My work is great and i can finally live.

I would've thought spending so much time together with Bev would cause some problems but it hasn't, its FANTASTIC. I can wait to drive home every afternoon to go and see her for even a hour and just hug and kiss and be together. :~)

My one friend has been very sick since tuesday and yesterday he went to the doctor to find out that its mumps and is now under quarantine as i have never had it and i can't take the risk to get it as it can be quite dangerous the older you get.

I'm gonna spend the evening again with Bev and i can't wait as its so nice just sitting around and being together.

Her mom got stung by a bee yesterday morning on her finger and it looks pretty bad. It was attempted last night to remove her rings as they were really hurting her but it couldn't be done without hurting her. Bev told me this morning that her dad took her mom to the hospital as her finger started turning blue.

Its nearly friday and i have the day off tomorrow AND i'm getting paid AAAAND i'm gonna have a wonderful day with the most wonderfullest person in this world.

Jealousy

Was yesterday a weird day.

Myself and my girlfriend were talking about handheld consoles and that we both really want to have either a Nintendo DS or a Sony PSP.

She said that she's gonna go buy herself one and i say then i am aswell so we can play games together and the like.

Yesterday i decided to go to a mall and just have a look at what i can get and since i'm a very good paying customer from CNA they had one DS left and only one game and it didn't work out so expensive.

She naturally hated me for getting it as she wants toys aswell. I love her so much.

I went there last night and she tried to ignore me and i could see she was upset but atleast i'm willing to share anything with her even though its not the same.

I love you my angel and you can always play with my toys.

A day from Hell

Sunday was not one of the best days i've had in my life.

Driving home my clutch cable on my car broke AGAIN, i managed to get home without a clutch but all the car part places were closed so i had to wait till yesterday to get a new cable.

My girlfriend didn't have to go to work so she said she would take me to get a new cable. She took me home and i started to work on my car and do a backup on her laptop as the machine is really slow and she wants it to be redone.

After 45mins and being dirty as hell i managed to get the cable installed.

i'm still struggling with the laptop though but it won't get me down.

I went to her after fixing my car as neither me or her can get enough of each other and since we are both sick it helps to be together.

My ex was smsing me to say there was post for me and i just ignored it. Bev saw the message and i could immediately see it made her upset and she asked me why don't i sms her and say i'm at my new girlfriends house and i said i don't want to communicate with her. Her aunt came through to see her new bedroom because its really stunning, will try and get a pic and upload it sometime. I smsed my ex and told her to leave me alone when she went upstairs.

i hate being on my phone when i'm with someone i care about as i want to give my full attention to that person.

Later on after i left i got a message from bev saying we should only be friends because my ex is not over me and she will not go through it again.

I'm not gonna go on with the whole story as i don't have the time to type everything out. We did manage to sort everything out and i'm happy because of it.

I would rip my own heart out if i would have to lose her. i love her, she listens and speaks to me in ways i could never explain.

I love you with everything i am my Angel. Love you forever and always.

ARGH

Here i am on a saturday...sitting at work.

I'm still a little stuffy but alot better than what i was yesterday, just goes to show that kissing helps but now i think i gave my flu to Bev again and that would not make me very happy.

We relaxed last night alone as her parents went out to friends and all my friends were out with family. All we did was watch movies, sat with each other and kissed. I think last night was the most relaxed i've been in a long time even though i'm on standby she doesn't mind.

She takes interest in my work and i love that because my work is very important to me and she kinda tried to force me to do work but i was really not in the mood.

I'm gonna finish work at 1 and then go home. i have to refill gas bottles for my mom and take them through to her because, once again, my brother is useless. Bev has also made herself broke by buying things for her bedroom and i actually can't wait to see it. She has great taste in anything and i know it will look beautiful.

I pray that this flu goes away. i'm gonna cook myself in my car today as its like 30degrees outside so maybe this flu will give up after a heatwave.

Someone has breathed life into me again and she is my Angel for who I love with all the soft touches of my heart.

Being sick

I'm sick today...scary sick

I never become sick, i think the last time i saw a doctor was when i broke my wrist in a freak drunk ice skating incident. No i feel like utter crap, it seems i have swallowed a cheese grater and its stuck in my throat. I'm sneezing aswell and its annoying.

And the whole crap thing is i'm also working this weekends so i'm truly not looking forward to it. i just want to crawl into my bed and sleep. Bev has just recovered from a bad flu and i'm so scared i'm gonna make her sick and i don't want that.

I spent the night there again and only left around 1 in the morning. It was so good to just sit around alone and talk and be together. we discussed something this morning and i completely understand it and there is nothing to be sorry about. If you are not ready then you aren't.

Luv u Angel.

Ashamed

Good afternoon evereeebody.

Yesterday was a crazy day and this morning was any better.

I kept myself occupied with work and now and then stopping and talking to Bev. She has the amazing ability to always make me smile and she always senses when something is wrong with me even though i don't know it.

I had a huge falling out with my brother yesterday as my mom is currently living on her own and she is dependent on me and my brother to help her but he hasn't come to the party much lately because of his whore girlfriend.

Anyway, i told Bev yesterday that i'm going to my mom and she asked if she could go with and i told her that she can't because i'm ashamed of my mother, yes i know "don't say that about your mother" but the reason for that is that i have known the woman for 25 years an my life hasn't been perfect. we struggled alot with money when i was younger and only from around i was 12 it became better and we could live life again.

My mom is a alcoholic, she blamed my father for this as he was one aswell and he used to be the crap out of my mom when he was drunk. Its tough for a little kid to see this and unfortunately i cannot forget it...stupid photographic memory. People have envied me for what i have like a paid for car and the nicest gadget but i worked my butt off for everything i own.

Facing huge challenges all your life makes you such a strong person. I haven't cried or anything in nearly 15 years BUT i keep everything bottled up because it helps strangely enough to be strong. I have seen so many psychologists in my life that i can actually qualify as one :~)

I will fight for anything i see and feel is right as i have proven over and over again to people. I'm hugely aggresive when it comes to work as i want to do the best and i hate it when people try and prove me wrong when i know i'm wrong.

I'm not a genius or something but i know what i'm doing and i'm damn good at it. I love my girlfriend to the end of the earth and i proved it yesterday.

Remember, when you think your life is tough and hard...think about that guy on the street looking for a piece of chicken in the trash.

P.S. This post makes no sense, i'm just babbling again.

Amazing

Its amazing when you meet someone and you just click like you've known each other forever and you want to spend every minute and second together.

I was at Bev's house last night to say happy birthday to her dad and spend some time with her. we saw each other on sunday last and it feels like we haven't seen each other in months.

We just sat around and talked about our day and its so much fun to share everything with her. she's going through a tough time now and i'm standing by her with everything i have.

Brad came through later on and he was on facebook and we just chatted and looked at photo's of saturday.

We now have a bet going who's gonna win the final with the rugby and its gonna be fun to have a couple feuding over a game. We might have to go to a wedding on the final but she's trying to worm out of it.

THE SHARKS RULE

I love you my Angel

I will buy that box of kleenex so long...

MWAH

The Weekend

I can honestly say this weekend was the best ever i have had in a long time.

Where do i begin and i know i'm going to miss something and there were so many things that happened over the weekend.

Friday night after work myself and a friend was invited to go to my girlfriends house to watch movies. My friend spent the whole day friday there as he was off and he didn't want to sit at home. It did make me a little jealous but i know nothing will happen as it can cause some serious discomfort as we live together.

We watched some movies and we got home around 3 in the morning. I just crashed and burned and i told my girlfriend to get some sleep as she has been going without sleep for nearly a week but she was always cheery no matter what. I have to love that about her.

Saturday morning i was woken up early to go to my friends dad's place to check the timing on my car. We had to meet him at the rugby club and after about 3 drinks we left finally to go to his house to check the timing. I figured out was was wrong and gonna fix it during the week.

Myself and a friend got into the mood for the rugby as my team (sharks) and my girlfriends team (bulls) were playing different teams on the day and we had our shirts and flags and the whole 9 yards. We got my girlfriends house and she was fully kitted out in blue which suited her as she has the most beautiful blue eyes. She also straightened her and and let it hang loose which made her so much more beautiful.

We started dissing each other on friday night and we continued on saturday afternoon. The rugby started earlier than we expected and by the time we noticed that the sharks were ahead by 26 points....you have to love a good team.

I started getting a massive headache later on in the afternoon and decided to go take a nap. I woke up with a 3 year old in the bed with me. kids are so cute when they sleep.

We continued drinking into the night and had some delicious potjie.

After everyone left around 1 in the morning we made a christmas bed infront of the tv and myself and my girlfriend drifted off to sleep. I couldn't really drift off as i slept earlier the afternoon.

Sunday we did our washing and recovered from the weekend. My girlfriend was swimming with friends of hers. I'm not a swimming type of person. Sunday afternoon we just opted to watch movies at my house.

Tomorrow is my girlfriends dad's birthday so i'm going to spend the night there. She told me i shouldn't buy anything for him but maybe i will.

Calm

I haven't been this calm in a long time. Normally i'm super stressed and tense and its not because its friday or anything.

I had a nice day at work, my Head of was not in and my supervisor was only in the office till about 12 and then left for holiday.

I was super chuffed yesterday because i went and bought my b-day present. I was like a little kid with wide eyes staring at a huge array of car audio that would make any car fantatic have a orgasm.

I already knew what i wanted because i have researched this so deeply that i even know how the voice coil is made on the speaker. I bought them and now they are in my bedroom just aching to be installed but i'm gonna wait because i want to take my sweet time :~)

I went to my ex's house yesterday because she got upset about something again and she told me to come and pick all my things up. I went there and my stuff was standing on their porch and to make a long story short I got upset and put everything in my car and just drove away.

I think that is the closure i needed. It hurts but hey, its better for me and my life.

i had a fun night again at Bev's house. Her friend Meg came over and we just had a relaxed and had a couple of drinks. I think their might be some sparks between my friend Brad and Meg, will see how it progresses, we are going there tonight for movies.

I woke up this morning and 2 of my friends were sitting in the lounge talking crap. they haven't slept and the place looks like a bomb hit it. Brad was still sleeping as he has off today.

Well i need to start working. get this day over with and have a good weekend.

Tired

Good lord i was tired last night.

I haven't been so tired in a long time but i enjoyed every moment of it because i spent the best 8 hours of my night with someone i really enjoy.

I spent my birthday night with a very special gal and it was so much fun talking to someone and laughing.

Yesterday was a bit tough though as with 2 hours sleep and having a massive hangover really didn't work for me. I had to go to my mom after work and i asked a friend to drive with me as i was so scared i would fall asleep behind the wheel.

We managed to get to my mom and back home in under 2 hours which is pretty good especially at night. I hate driving that road.

I got home and since i took a shower earlier i just got undress and fell into bed. i subsequently fell asleep 10 minutes later.

I'm still tired but its better now and tonight i'm going to Bev as its PaRtY night at her house. Its going to be fun but i would rather be with her alone.

Love you Angel

My Birthday

Yesterday was my birthday as everyone knows and it was pretty uneventful until last night.

I went through to Bev's house for a braai and to meet the parents. I dread it as i don't always give a good impression with the piercings and long hair but i think i did impress.

I normally drink spiced gold so my drink was already there when i walked into the house. We sat and chatted for a while until Bev's friend decided to go to bed and we still had a couple of drinks and we talked and then it happened.

We kissed.

You know the point in your life when you feel nothing can be more perfect. that was what it felt like.

The kiss sealed the deal last night and we will definitely be seeing alot more of each other.

Now i have to sit with a massive hangover and 3hours sleep...please someone help me.

Mwah, luv u Angel.

Today is...

Well today is my birthday but it doesn't feel like it.

I've never been really big into birthdays since i was 12 and now i'm 25. I hate attracting attention to myself even on my b-day.

Bev phoned me early this morning to wish me a happy birthday and i was so out of it that i thought it was my alarm and just pressed a button and put the phone down and only noticed like 2 seconds later it was her on the phone.

I also got a really sweet happy birthday song from the sweetest 3 year old which nearly made me cry.

Time to start working.

The Weekend

Holy crap what a weekend, it seems to last forever but i know why that is because i didn't sleep so much.

Friday night was quiet, myself and a friend stayed at home and decided to see who can cause the most damage to a car on PS2. we had a couple of drinks and just took it easy.

Saturday morning i had to get up early as i needed to take my mom shopping. We did the shopping and myself and brad went back home. He was putting portraits up at my mom's place as you can't hit a nail into the wall without taking out the entire wall.

Saturday night was going to be a relaxing night at home until i was asked to go to the Keg to meet Beverly for the first time. As we were getting finished she told me that they won't be going and i was quite disappointed but i understood. Later on around 10 i got a phone call to say that they were going to the Keg. I was a bit pissed off because i hate it when people change arrangements and then everyone must fall in.

We had a bit of a argument as to if she wanted me to come or not. Myself and brad eventually decided to go through.

We got to the Keg and walked in to get a drink and decided to go out to look for a seat but they were having a private function and half of the place was closed off. I walked past 2 girls sitting there and i immediately knew it was beverly by the dress she was wearing and when i looked back her friend smiled at me.

I notice everything in my surroundings and i pick up the most subtle things.

We sat down and listened to some dude on a guitar that killed songs slowly. Bev and her friend walked right past us and i just smiled. Its so cute when people are shy. We sat outside for quite some time and i kept on smsing Bev and eventually she told me to join then as i asked repeatedly if we should go and sit there and myself and Brad just got annoyed and i walked into the Keg, sat down right next to her and just smiled.

It was a fun night, Bev was a bit drunk and her friend had left with guitar boy and i was already on my way home and i can't drive 2 cars. i really feel shit about it but i was upset about something that only 4 people that were there no about and its not for public interest.

We sat at home and i only went to bed at around 3 in the morning.

Sunday we got woken up early as we had to go do our washing. we went through and started the washing and sat outside for a while and we wanted to go for a pub lunch but the pub was closed then we opted to make lunch at mom's home then we wouldn't have to cook dinner at our house.

I couldn't get up this morning. my body is tired but relaxed and i can breathe again. I have met Bev and its finally something i'm looking forward to.

P.S. - I HATE JAGERMEISTER....AND WHISKEY....AND SHOOTERS....

Questions

I'm putting another post up for some very adorable reasons.

If you saw my wishlist and you see the below pics then you will know what i'm talking about when i say a want something for my car.

Everything in my car i built myself including the central locking and alarm system.

Whoo hoo

Well last night was a huge success, I managed to do something stupid and not regret it and i didn't get arrested.

I got home yesterday afternoon and I proclaimed to Viv and J that i will be getting trashed tonight and they just laughed as Viv was giving me a beer.

Quickly picking up speed at home i decided to go out and continue.

My plan was simple, get drunk as quickly as i can and pick up someone. I got to the keg and amazingly got a parking space right at the entrance which was perfect for a quick get-away.

Just by getting out of my car i attracted all kinds of attention because people started greeting me and screaming "Hi Jay !". I've never been popular or anything.

Coming into the Keg i met a friend i haven't seen in about 2 years and also a girl i used to date.

It took me nearly 30 minutes to get a drink so i decided to drink for 2 as Brad was not there.

The evening progressed and i ended up sitting and chatting to a girl i used to fall over my feet for and it was fun.

Didn't get laid or arrested but that wasn't my purpose, i did however managed to drive nearly 200km/h down a piece of road and i wasn't that drunk.

I have to get out more.

Sorry Angel that you couldn't be there, We would've had alot of fun.

Perfect

I'm listening to a song now from Snow Patrol.

Listen to it....it makes sense. to me atleast

Make This Go On Forever lyrics

Please don't let this turn into something it's not
I can only give you everything I've got
I can't be as sorry as you think I should
But I still love you more than anyone else could

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight
Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right
This splintered mast I'm holding on won't save me long
Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

We have got through so much worse than this before
What's so different this time that you can't ignore
You say it is much more than just my last mistake
And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

The last girl and the last reason to make this last for as long as I could
First kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything
The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned
The final word in the final sentence you ever uttered to me was love

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness [x2]

And I don't know where to look
My words just break and melt
Please just save me from this darkness [x2]

$%#& everything

Geez today is a complete screw up.

I managed to lose someone i really like, PI@# off my ex because i'm apparently insensitive and make contact again with 2 very old friends.

Busy day...

I think tonight i'm gonna go out, get completely trashed and do something stupid and not regret it. I'm in the mood for it and no one is gonna stop me.

STUPID

Weekend

I'm praying for the weekend today, i'm so tired but i do have a excuse.

After work i got home and I was supposed to go to my ex to get the rest of my stuff but she smsed me and said i shouldn't come. I then went to my mom to take her a couple of things and get some things aswell for our house like tupperware and tins and stuff.

You can clearly see my mom has no one to talk because as soon as we got there she started talking and about 40 minutes later i had to stop her so we could go home. My mom is a very sweet lady and i love her to bits but geez she can talk.

I only fell asleep around 12 last night and i forget to set my alarms. I woke up quarter past 6 this morning which isn't so bad but i give 2 other friends lifts so it gets tight if we are late.

I'm seriously missing Bev. I haven't had a connection like this with anyone in a long time and its a refreshing feeling.

Brad is going away tonight and tomorrow to his dad so its only going to be me and Viv. We have to invite the neighbours over for some coffee.